We spoke about Clara's arrival and she told me the most wonderful detail. When Clara's head was out and a few moments passed before the body followed, she opened her eyes, then her mouth, and loked around whilst waiting to be born. I wish I had been able to see that!
Friday, 9 September 2016
One final detail...
Stef the midwife came today to see Clara and to discharge us from the hospital's care. It was lovely to see her! (Well, technically it was yesterday on my birthday. It's 2am now and Clara is having a night snack).
Tuesday, 6 September 2016
Onward into the future
This child is ridiculously easy to manage. She breastfeeds like she was born with the skill. Not sleeping = eating. Not eating = sleeping. That's it. And she will happily let Dwayne settle her without fuss. In fact, she rather likes pappa cuddling her to sleep.
Today we had our last midwife visit with weighing, and Clara has only lost 230g and passed with flying colours. We also went to Ettalong for brunch and Clara slept in the pram through the whole event, with a quick feed by the water at the end.
This all makes me feel like an expert mum that can do nothing wrong. Now, onward into the future with Clara in the family!
Today we had our last midwife visit with weighing, and Clara has only lost 230g and passed with flying colours. We also went to Ettalong for brunch and Clara slept in the pram through the whole event, with a quick feed by the water at the end.
This all makes me feel like an expert mum that can do nothing wrong. Now, onward into the future with Clara in the family!
Monday, 5 September 2016
Sisters
Daisy is very excited to have a new little sister. "Is that my baby?" she keeps asking, stroking her hair ever so gently, requesting to hold her and fetching her toys. She wants to help with nappies and she worries every time Clara makes a bit of noise. Sister love!
The Story part 2, "Drama!"
At 4.17 when contractions started I timed them to around 5 minutes apart, around a minute long, and quite regular. They weren't terribly painful, and I didn't wake Dwayne or call the midwife quite yet. Dwayne woke up and asked how I was, and I told him I was timing contractions, real ones, but that there was no hurry. He went back to sleep (!!).
I got up and made breakfast, the rest of the house still sleeping. (Even Daisy, it was a miracle). I chatted to my sisters and let them know what was happening, then called Stef the midwife around 5.30am. She said to come in for my check-up at 8am as planned, unless things escalated. She suggested to come in earlier if contractions were coming down to 2-3 minutes apart.
So I got the rest of the family up, pottered around the house through contractions, showered and got ready, and at 7.30am Dwayne and I got in the car to drive to the hospital, fully expecting to be coming back home later to labour some more before show time.
When we got there we took the stairs up to the maternity ward, I was still able to happily do that. As we waited for Stef in the waiting area of the birth suite, contractions were still regular and coming a bit closer. I was starting to want to hang onto Dwayne with my arms around his neck to work through each contraction, the same way I did with Daisy. Stef observed a few of these contractions and said she didn't think we'd be going home again until baby was born...
But things were still feeling pretty much under control, we were shown the room we were to stay in with all it's birthing balls and floor mattresses and other birthing paraphernalia. Contractions came and went, I hung onto Dwayne during them and chatted with Stef between them. When it was established that we weren't going home at all, I said it was a shame we left the bags in the car. Dwayne suggested he go get them quickly whilst there was still time, and I agreed I could still manage the contractions on my own so he should go right away. Stef was quite happy with that too.
Dwayne went to the car park, Stef did some paperwork over in the corner whilst keeping an eye on me, and I stood by the bed still fully clothed, leaning on it to take each contraction. I felt a couple of contractions with a bit of pressure, but not a lot and not enough that I mentioned it to Stef. I recognised the feeling and knew they would feel like that for a good while before proper pushing contractions took over. A few minutes had passed when everything suddenly kicked off!
All of the sudden the rest of the waters splashed out, Hollywood style this time, drenching me to my feet. At the same moment, I literally felt the baby fall down into my pelvis and my body start to push the baby out instantly. And I mean INSTANTLY. Stef heard my noises change and asked urgently if I was feeling pressure. I would have laughed if I had been capable. Pressure? There's a frickin' head!!
Stef got busy very quickly helping me down on my knees, me still holding onto the bed, she then did her best to get my trousers off whilst trying to get some towels and blankets underneath me, which was a challenge because I was pushing a baby out and was entirely incapacitated and could barely lift a knee. She kept saying "Wait, Dwayne is not here! Hold it!". Again, would have laughed if I could.
A mere few pushes later, the head came out. My body stopped for a short while, then pushed the little body out with Stef lowering the baby down on the towels beneath me. I was still leaning with my head on the bed, and it took a good couple of moments for me to catch on and realise the baby was out. "Pick the baby up! Go on!" I heard Stef say. So I sat back kneeling on the floor and picked my little pink baby up. She wasn't screaming, she just whimpered a little as I cuddled her up against my belly. And I didn't know she was a she until Stef reminded me to check. It was 8.45am and Clara Rose Cassidy had arrived!
Unfortunately, Dwayne hadn't...
I will never forget the sound of stunned silence when he picked up his mobile and I said" You missed it all, you have another daughter!" Then all he said was "JESUS!!"
Moments later he came in through the door, just in time to cut the cord.
It turns out he had stopped by the cafe in the main lobby to get a sandwich, thinking just like Stef and I that we had a couple of hours to go. He had left his sandwich there to run upstairs when I called. We keep wondering if he would have made it had he not stopped for food, but chances are he still wouldn't with the speed that little Clara decided to enter the world.
Clara turned out to be a clever little one, latching on to feed as if she'd never done anything else. This meant I didn't feel like I needed to stay in hospital at all, so by 3pm we packed up and went home so that Clara could meet her very excited big sister.
With Clara moments old, we're still sitting on the floor processing what just happened.
I got up and made breakfast, the rest of the house still sleeping. (Even Daisy, it was a miracle). I chatted to my sisters and let them know what was happening, then called Stef the midwife around 5.30am. She said to come in for my check-up at 8am as planned, unless things escalated. She suggested to come in earlier if contractions were coming down to 2-3 minutes apart.
So I got the rest of the family up, pottered around the house through contractions, showered and got ready, and at 7.30am Dwayne and I got in the car to drive to the hospital, fully expecting to be coming back home later to labour some more before show time.
When we got there we took the stairs up to the maternity ward, I was still able to happily do that. As we waited for Stef in the waiting area of the birth suite, contractions were still regular and coming a bit closer. I was starting to want to hang onto Dwayne with my arms around his neck to work through each contraction, the same way I did with Daisy. Stef observed a few of these contractions and said she didn't think we'd be going home again until baby was born...
But things were still feeling pretty much under control, we were shown the room we were to stay in with all it's birthing balls and floor mattresses and other birthing paraphernalia. Contractions came and went, I hung onto Dwayne during them and chatted with Stef between them. When it was established that we weren't going home at all, I said it was a shame we left the bags in the car. Dwayne suggested he go get them quickly whilst there was still time, and I agreed I could still manage the contractions on my own so he should go right away. Stef was quite happy with that too.
Dwayne went to the car park, Stef did some paperwork over in the corner whilst keeping an eye on me, and I stood by the bed still fully clothed, leaning on it to take each contraction. I felt a couple of contractions with a bit of pressure, but not a lot and not enough that I mentioned it to Stef. I recognised the feeling and knew they would feel like that for a good while before proper pushing contractions took over. A few minutes had passed when everything suddenly kicked off!
All of the sudden the rest of the waters splashed out, Hollywood style this time, drenching me to my feet. At the same moment, I literally felt the baby fall down into my pelvis and my body start to push the baby out instantly. And I mean INSTANTLY. Stef heard my noises change and asked urgently if I was feeling pressure. I would have laughed if I had been capable. Pressure? There's a frickin' head!!
Stef got busy very quickly helping me down on my knees, me still holding onto the bed, she then did her best to get my trousers off whilst trying to get some towels and blankets underneath me, which was a challenge because I was pushing a baby out and was entirely incapacitated and could barely lift a knee. She kept saying "Wait, Dwayne is not here! Hold it!". Again, would have laughed if I could.
A mere few pushes later, the head came out. My body stopped for a short while, then pushed the little body out with Stef lowering the baby down on the towels beneath me. I was still leaning with my head on the bed, and it took a good couple of moments for me to catch on and realise the baby was out. "Pick the baby up! Go on!" I heard Stef say. So I sat back kneeling on the floor and picked my little pink baby up. She wasn't screaming, she just whimpered a little as I cuddled her up against my belly. And I didn't know she was a she until Stef reminded me to check. It was 8.45am and Clara Rose Cassidy had arrived!
Unfortunately, Dwayne hadn't...
I will never forget the sound of stunned silence when he picked up his mobile and I said" You missed it all, you have another daughter!" Then all he said was "JESUS!!"
Moments later he came in through the door, just in time to cut the cord.
It turns out he had stopped by the cafe in the main lobby to get a sandwich, thinking just like Stef and I that we had a couple of hours to go. He had left his sandwich there to run upstairs when I called. We keep wondering if he would have made it had he not stopped for food, but chances are he still wouldn't with the speed that little Clara decided to enter the world.
Clara turned out to be a clever little one, latching on to feed as if she'd never done anything else. This meant I didn't feel like I needed to stay in hospital at all, so by 3pm we packed up and went home so that Clara could meet her very excited big sister.
The Story part 1, "Hoping for no induction"
On Thursday the 1st September, the first day of spring, my waters broke. And of course not in the Hollywood way, but in a sneaky leaky way that had me guessing all day until I called the midwife around 4pm to let her know. Rosie, my midwife, was not on duty so I got her lovely partner Stef instead. Stef suggested I come in straight away to be checked and confirm that it was indeed amniotic fluid happening.
I arranged baby sitting for Daisy, called Dwayne at work and asked him to meet me at Gosford Hospital, and drove myself there.
As suspected the waters had broken and we were there for observation for a couple of hours, checking that the baby was happy and nothing alarming happening. According to the CTG machine I was having mild contractions every 10 minutes, but most of them I didn't notice at all and Stef described them more as "tightenings" than real contractions.
Around 7.30pm we picked up Daisy and went home and called Dwayne's mum to come over, as we knew things would start happening soon one way or another. We went to bed and waited and hoped that real contractions would set in. I had been given a day and a half before they wanted to induce me. Normally they would give you 24 hours for the infection risk, but for some reason they didn't want to start an induction off on a Friday afternoon, so I was scheduled for Saturday. But first I was given an appointment at 8am on Friday morning to go back to hosiptal for another check-up on the baby.
I was quite happy to be given some extra time, since being induced is one of the things I would very much like to avoid. I slept quite well, got up at around 1am to see to Daisy, spent an hour or so having catastrophe thoughts about induction, and went back to solid sleep again.
At 4.17am I woke up from experiencing a real contraction! Joy of joy, there would be no induction needed!
I arranged baby sitting for Daisy, called Dwayne at work and asked him to meet me at Gosford Hospital, and drove myself there.
As suspected the waters had broken and we were there for observation for a couple of hours, checking that the baby was happy and nothing alarming happening. According to the CTG machine I was having mild contractions every 10 minutes, but most of them I didn't notice at all and Stef described them more as "tightenings" than real contractions.
Around 7.30pm we picked up Daisy and went home and called Dwayne's mum to come over, as we knew things would start happening soon one way or another. We went to bed and waited and hoped that real contractions would set in. I had been given a day and a half before they wanted to induce me. Normally they would give you 24 hours for the infection risk, but for some reason they didn't want to start an induction off on a Friday afternoon, so I was scheduled for Saturday. But first I was given an appointment at 8am on Friday morning to go back to hosiptal for another check-up on the baby.
I was quite happy to be given some extra time, since being induced is one of the things I would very much like to avoid. I slept quite well, got up at around 1am to see to Daisy, spent an hour or so having catastrophe thoughts about induction, and went back to solid sleep again.
At 4.17am I woke up from experiencing a real contraction! Joy of joy, there would be no induction needed!
Sunday, 4 September 2016
Friday, 2 September 2016
Wednesday, 31 August 2016
The waiting game
We haven't had much more action since yesterday. Some mild contractions, sometimes pretty regular, but never increasing in intensity. No sign of "the real thing" yet.
I'm glad this is not my first time! This could drive one mad if one hadn't done it before and could distinguish between real and not real.
Very different experience from when we were expecting Daisy. With her, nothing at all happened until the morning of the day she was born. I went straight into real labour, which then progressed steadily until she was born eleven and a half hours later. None if this "will it, will it not" stuff.
Not that I am in a hurry! I'm still comfortable, and as much as I look forward to meeting this Booba I wouldn't mind a few more days af peace before life as we know it changes again.
Tuesday, 30 August 2016
Possibly too much information...
... but my mucus plug has dislodged! Guessing that's what all that contraction yesterday was about.
Getting real now!
Getting closer
I had mild but semi-regular contractions all day yesterday. Not of the "real" and escalating kind, but still quite intense and relentless. I thought maybe it would develop into the real thing overnight, but it seems to have settled now.
Four days to due date!
Saturday, 27 August 2016
Monday, 22 August 2016
First proper day on leave
How come, on my first real day off work and with Daisy at daycare, the forecast says rain and I can't get the television to work?
Maybe the universe is telling me to go for a walk before the forecasted rain comes.
Sunday, 21 August 2016
The External Cephalic Version
Let me elaborate a little on the ECV I finally received on Friday.
I was seen by a midwife and a doctor in the birthing suites in the afternoon. I was weighed, given a muscle relaxing shot, was hooked up to the foetal heart monitor and had a quick ultrasound to check that the baby was still indeed breech.
I doctor asked a few questions, and upon hearing that this baby had not moved an inch from its current position in over two months she concluded that it was probably going to be difficult to turn but worth a try.
About 20 minutes after the muscle relaxant was given the doctor and midwife together started to turn Booba around. It was utterly unpleasant and quite painful, since the doctor had to dig her fingers in through layers of muscles and tissue right near my pubic bone in order to get a grasp on the little baby bottom. They forced the baby to turn a forward roll, by pushing its head down and its bottom up. The midwife helped hold the baby in position, stopping it from slipping back, and checked every now and then with the ultrasound that each body part was where they thought it was.
Strangely, Booba made very little fuss and turned quite smoothly. The whole procedure only took a few minutes and was drama free. The heart rate went down at one point when they were squeezing the poor baby quite hard, but went straight back up again and stayed strong for the hour of monitoring that took place after the procedure.
On Saturday I went back to the hospital to monitor the heart for another half hour and do another quick ultrasound to confirm that baby hadn't turned back. It hasn't. I can feel a little foot kicking me in the the exact spot the head used to constantly bulge out.
Now we're back to normal, back to just waiting for labour to kick off on its own and not having to make any decisions around it at all. I am battered and bruised, but all is well and it was totally worth it in the end!
I was seen by a midwife and a doctor in the birthing suites in the afternoon. I was weighed, given a muscle relaxing shot, was hooked up to the foetal heart monitor and had a quick ultrasound to check that the baby was still indeed breech.
I doctor asked a few questions, and upon hearing that this baby had not moved an inch from its current position in over two months she concluded that it was probably going to be difficult to turn but worth a try.
About 20 minutes after the muscle relaxant was given the doctor and midwife together started to turn Booba around. It was utterly unpleasant and quite painful, since the doctor had to dig her fingers in through layers of muscles and tissue right near my pubic bone in order to get a grasp on the little baby bottom. They forced the baby to turn a forward roll, by pushing its head down and its bottom up. The midwife helped hold the baby in position, stopping it from slipping back, and checked every now and then with the ultrasound that each body part was where they thought it was.
Strangely, Booba made very little fuss and turned quite smoothly. The whole procedure only took a few minutes and was drama free. The heart rate went down at one point when they were squeezing the poor baby quite hard, but went straight back up again and stayed strong for the hour of monitoring that took place after the procedure.
On Saturday I went back to the hospital to monitor the heart for another half hour and do another quick ultrasound to confirm that baby hadn't turned back. It hasn't. I can feel a little foot kicking me in the the exact spot the head used to constantly bulge out.
Now we're back to normal, back to just waiting for labour to kick off on its own and not having to make any decisions around it at all. I am battered and bruised, but all is well and it was totally worth it in the end!
Friday, 19 August 2016
Thursday, 18 August 2016
A plan for the breechling
Yesterday we went to Gosford hospital to meet with the midwife and an obstetrician to discuss options for this little breechling. I liked the doctor. He was straight forward, listened to my questions, gave straight answers and was not afraid of giving his own personal opinion. He was also totally fine with me having a breech birth if it comes to that.
The outcome of the discussion is that we go for an ECV today, which means manually trying to manipulate Booba to turn around. The procedure has a 50% success rate, and I have an inkling that we'll be on the wrong side of those 50%. Much because the ultrasound technician pointed out that the baby has very little space to move in there. But if it does work, all is well and we are back to a normal pregnancy and I can go back to waiting for a normal birth to commence.
If the ECV fails, we will aim to go ahead with a natural breech birth. The only catch is if the wrong obstetrician is on duty on the day Booba decides to be born, because apparently there are two doctors who will not take on a breech birth and will insist on a caesarean. And in that situation, where the doctor is not feeling confident about it, I wouldn't have the courage to persist. Which would be bad, because I REALLY don't want surgery and I don't think I'd handle it very well emotionally.
I am not worried about this baby, I know the hospital staff will get it out in one piece one way or another, but there are certain scenarios I'd much prefer to others. To be honest, I am more worried about the ECV than I would be facing a breech birth. Because a breech birth would be much the same as my last birth - natural onset, it will be allowed to proceed naturally, and there will be staff there that have experience and know what issues may arise and what to do. And the fact that the obstetrician yesterday seemed completely comfortable with granting me a breech birth makes me feel safe. He clearly isn't too worried about any issues.
The ECV on the other hand, non-invasive as it might be, is an intervention. Things can go wrong, the baby can get distressed, waters may be broken, an emergency caesarean may be needed. The risks are small, small enough for the doctor to consider this the best option, but I am still concerned.
I was meant to get an appointment this morning, but the birthing suite called earlier to let me know they have no time and will call me back after lunch. I very much hope they don't put it off until tomorrow. I just want it over and done with so I can focus on the next step.
The outcome of the discussion is that we go for an ECV today, which means manually trying to manipulate Booba to turn around. The procedure has a 50% success rate, and I have an inkling that we'll be on the wrong side of those 50%. Much because the ultrasound technician pointed out that the baby has very little space to move in there. But if it does work, all is well and we are back to a normal pregnancy and I can go back to waiting for a normal birth to commence.
If the ECV fails, we will aim to go ahead with a natural breech birth. The only catch is if the wrong obstetrician is on duty on the day Booba decides to be born, because apparently there are two doctors who will not take on a breech birth and will insist on a caesarean. And in that situation, where the doctor is not feeling confident about it, I wouldn't have the courage to persist. Which would be bad, because I REALLY don't want surgery and I don't think I'd handle it very well emotionally.
I am not worried about this baby, I know the hospital staff will get it out in one piece one way or another, but there are certain scenarios I'd much prefer to others. To be honest, I am more worried about the ECV than I would be facing a breech birth. Because a breech birth would be much the same as my last birth - natural onset, it will be allowed to proceed naturally, and there will be staff there that have experience and know what issues may arise and what to do. And the fact that the obstetrician yesterday seemed completely comfortable with granting me a breech birth makes me feel safe. He clearly isn't too worried about any issues.
The ECV on the other hand, non-invasive as it might be, is an intervention. Things can go wrong, the baby can get distressed, waters may be broken, an emergency caesarean may be needed. The risks are small, small enough for the doctor to consider this the best option, but I am still concerned.
I was meant to get an appointment this morning, but the birthing suite called earlier to let me know they have no time and will call me back after lunch. I very much hope they don't put it off until tomorrow. I just want it over and done with so I can focus on the next step.
Tuesday, 16 August 2016
Skitunge, as we say in Swedish
Ultrasound earlier this morning, week 37 +3. The technician put the wand to the top of my belly, and instantly the top of a little head was clearly visible. So, we have a breech baby. It's exactly the way I've been feeling, head under my right hand side ribs and feet poking into my right hip.
Never mind that Rosie the midwife was wrong in her theory of the baby being the right way around. I nearly believed her, so at least it gave me a week of some peace of mind and relaxation!
I have an appointment with the doctor at Gosford hospital tomorrow to discuss options. There would be:
1) manually trying to turn the baby
2) caesarean
3) breech birth
Here are my initial feelings on each:
1) Manual turn seems unpleasant, potentially risky and involves injecting some sort of muscle relaxant. And we all know how I feel about medication and medical intervention. But then again, how lovely wouldn't it be to have the baby turned and just go back to relaxing and waiting?
2) Caesarean. Who in their right mind would volunteer for major surgery, especially on the day that they're having a baby? Not me.
3) Breech birth. Apparently there is an old school doctor in Gosford who will attend low risk breech births. If I am indeed considered low risk this might be my favourite option at the moment.
Saturday, 13 August 2016
Project weekend
This weekend I am continuing my laundry project. And I have put away clothes I don't see my breastfeeding self wearing in the near future and replaced them with new and old breastfeeding friendly outfits.
And the change table is ready with cloth nappies, disposables, cloth wipes and baby onesies. And a basket of muslins that I haven't found a place for yet.
Having fun!
Thursday, 11 August 2016
Tuesday, 9 August 2016
Want to make a bet?
I've just been to see the midwife and shared my concerns about this Booba being breech. She had a good feel and squeeze, second guessed herself a couple of times, but in the end decided she thinks Booba is actually head down. She reckons she can feel the head low down and we could hear the heartbeat best at the lower part of my belly. The hard lump constantly sticking into my ribs could be its bottom. This is one of the very few times in life I'd love to be wrong!
She gave me a referral for an ultrasound anyway to make sure, so I am going next week. Who wants to make a bet on up or down?
Friday, 5 August 2016
Monday, 1 August 2016
Bottoms up!
This child has decided it doesn't like the idea of turning head down. Booba is still bobbing around, head firmly tucked in under my right hand side ribs and feet energetically poking into nerves in my hips making my legs buckle when I least expect it. This has been it's (painful) position for months and it does not seem to harbour plans to change it in the near future.
I made the mistake of googling when a second baby should turn head down, and apparently Booba is behind schedule. According to Google I should worry and do handstands. Sounds like hard work to me.
Monday, 25 July 2016
Booba in Sweden
Booba (new working title) and I have just returned from ten days in Sweden! The journey was suprisingly pleasant, I'm fairly comfortable and don't mind long flights much. I also had the luxury of toddler free time to watch all the movies I could cram into 24 hours.
I did run into some trouble being allowed on the plane when transferring in Qatar. There was a ridiculous dispute over what week of pregnancy I was in and hence what documents I should have submitted. I showed them three different doctor's letters all stating the same due date, but to that they only responded that they were not interested in my due date, only what week I was currently in. The mind boggles...
Eventually I was let on the plane, with minutes to spare and crying my eyes out.
Going back to Sydney I spent the last half of my holiday emailing and speaking to Qatar Airways, chasing the very expensive medical cerificate specialist doctor, and generally worrying an awful lot. Up until the very last hours before my flight it was utterly uncertain whether I would be allowed to fly back or not.
One would think the best approach to a pregnant woman flying (one that fulfills all criteria!) is to NOT stress her out. At all.
But in the end, it all worked out. And now I'm back at work like nothing ever happened.
Three more work weeks to go!
Monday, 27 June 2016
Just turn!
One significant difference between this pregnancy and the one with Daisy, is the painful kicking. For some reason, the Minibean manages to make it feel like it's poking my cervix with needles, lodging its little toes right down the bottom of my uterus and occasionally jabbing a nerve in my lower back that makes my right leg give way. Seriously, just turn head down and stay that way! I am tall enough that toes against ribs is a much lesser problem.
I wonder what's changed in my body for this unpleasantness to occur? The mysteries of pregnancy...
Thursday, 23 June 2016
Birthday girl
Today is Daisy's birthday, hip hip hooray! Three years old, and her last birthday as a single child. To celebrate we had cake and friends over to play!
Vaccine day
Went and had shots for flu and whooping cough today. It feels weird to inject something, anything, when you're pregnant. But it would be weirder to risk a newborn with whooping cough, so there you go.
Saturday, 18 June 2016
Getting ready
Last time I was pregnant I don't recall being too fussed with getting things ready. We had a pile of baby stuff (cot, pram, hand-me-down clothes, etc.) under the stairs, but I didn't start sorting through until the last few weeks before due date. Washing baby clothes, assembling furniture and such.
This time I can't wait. I just want to drag all my stored and newly bought baby stuff out and start sorting and arranging. I even have to stop myself from starting to pack the nappy bag for the hospital. I have allowed myself to make a list, but that's it.
I want to get the cot ready, get the change table up and stocked with varieties of nappies, wipes and onesies, fold down the pram bassinet ready with blankets and all... But it seems a bit premature to do all that now. I'll leave it until August. If I can.
Shoes, bags and...
Cloth nappies! Somehow cloth nappies have the same MUST HAVE effect on me as cool shoes ans pretty handbags. I have two entire birth to potty sets, one a hybrid system and the other a prefold system. However, I still feel I need more. So many funky covers, so many new varieties of inserts to try.
There are always ways to justify more nappies. Always.
Friday, 20 May 2016
Linea nigra
With my first pregnancy I had a pretty obvious linea nigra going on. And my belly button in the middle of it was entirely black and stayed that way intil long after Daisy was born.
This time around I have no hint of a dark line at all. So far, anyway.
Monday, 9 May 2016
Outfits
New purchases with the Minibean in mind. Very cute! I want more. Baby and toddler expo next week!
Thursday, 5 May 2016
Monday, 11 April 2016
Final scan done!
Minibean is happy and healthy and has all its parts in the right places. And it's ridiculously cute.
Bizarre feeling to know there is one person out there (the imaging technician) who knows the sex of my baby when I don't...
Saturday, 9 April 2016
They have arrived...
The leg cramps. They have arrived, just like I knew they would. In the middle of the night I'll stretch my leg and instantly my calf will curl up into an impossible ball of aching and unyielding muscle cramp. If I am quick and act within a millisecond or so, and if I find just the right angle, I can stop it before it's too late. Bit who has the ability to think in milliseconds at 2am?
Tuesday, 5 April 2016
We have a kicker!
The Minibug's movements have been getting easier and easier to spot over the last week or so. On the plane back from Fiji I sat with my hand on the spot where Minibug was kicking away, and I could actually feel the kicks on both sides! Tears started rolling, it was such a great feeling, after all the anxiety and worry. It's a kicker!
18 and a half weeks
Just got home from five days in Fiji. We had a great holiday, but came home with conjunctivitis (Dwayne and I) and an EVIL case of impetigo (Daisy). Getting decent medical care on the island proved all but impossible, so by the time we got home it had gotten entirely out of hand.
But now we're back, Daisy has the correct antibiotics, and we're all on the mend.
Here's the Minibean at somewhere between 18 and 19 weeks.
And Daisy's current state...
Tuesday, 29 March 2016
Gosford Hospital of Horror
A while ago I went for a girls' dinner with around fifteen of my Swedish friends on Central Coast. Most of them did not know at the time that I was pregnant. Towards the end of the evening the conversation steered towards pregnancies in general and child birth in particular. The general consensus turned out to be that whatever you do, do NOT have your baby at Gosford public hospital.
The stories were many, both first hand and friends or friends of friends, and they were all bad. It was all interventions and c-sections and disappointments and doctors getting involved. Basically all the things I would do anything to avoid.
The recommendations were that you either go Gosford Private (not going to happen) or the birthing center in Wyong (horrid one hour's car ride from our house). I really felt stuck between a rock and a hard place, as I had just spoken with the midwives and chosen Gosford as the hospital where I will have my baby.
In any case, I decided not to panic and to wait and make my own opinion once I'd seen the maternity ward and met the midwife. Easier said than done.
Yesterday I went for my first booking in appointment with a midwife. I would normally be seen in Woy Woy, but the midwife that was assigned my case is on holiday and I had to go to the hospital to see someone else. It was probably a good thing, to get to go there and see it first hand and see how I felt about it.
To be honest, I felt terrible about it. It is so big, with so many wards, and I had no idea where to go. I ended up at the maternity ward, meekly asking a nurse at reception where I was meant to go. The ward was so big and scary and hospitaley, I was close to tears just being there. It turned out I was meant to go to the birthing suites, and I found my way there reasonably easily.
The birthing suites ward was a bit less terrifying. It was calm and quiet with dimmed lights, and had a little less of a big hospital feel. Although, judging from the signage, there were eight birthing rooms compared to two in Mona Vale where Daisy was born. The chances that I will be the only one there on the day, as I was when I had Daisy, are very slim.
The midwife was lovely, as they tend to be. I vented all my fears to her, all the while trying my best not to burst into tears. I managed to narrow it down to the following issues:
- Will a midwife be with me the WHOLE time I'm there giving birth?
- Do doctors get involved a lot?
- Are the intervention-happy rumours true?
Linda the Midwife put all my worries to rest, explaining to me that I was part of a midwife lead program where I would get to see the same midwife throughout my pregnancy, and if she was available she would be there on on the day also. The midwives of this program are the same as the ones that run the Wyong birthing centre, which feels reassuring. She assured me that once I'm at the hospital the midwife would not leave my side and would have no other assignments at the same time as mine. She even took me around the ward and showed the birthing rooms, told me how they like to keep things as natural as possible and listen to the mother's wishes. She told me how all the midwives are such mother hens and protective of their ladies, and how they would only call for the doctor if it was truly needed. She also told me that the doctor, a lady, was lovely and truly caring. It felt much like Mona Vale once I was there.
All of this, combined with hearing the heart beat and feeling the Minibean kicking around, has made me feel about a million times better about everything.
Gosford Hospital is still a terrifying place if you ask me, and I don't look forward to the long journey from the car park to the ward on the day, but on the whole it doesn't feel impossibly scary any more.
The stories were many, both first hand and friends or friends of friends, and they were all bad. It was all interventions and c-sections and disappointments and doctors getting involved. Basically all the things I would do anything to avoid.
The recommendations were that you either go Gosford Private (not going to happen) or the birthing center in Wyong (horrid one hour's car ride from our house). I really felt stuck between a rock and a hard place, as I had just spoken with the midwives and chosen Gosford as the hospital where I will have my baby.
In any case, I decided not to panic and to wait and make my own opinion once I'd seen the maternity ward and met the midwife. Easier said than done.
Yesterday I went for my first booking in appointment with a midwife. I would normally be seen in Woy Woy, but the midwife that was assigned my case is on holiday and I had to go to the hospital to see someone else. It was probably a good thing, to get to go there and see it first hand and see how I felt about it.
To be honest, I felt terrible about it. It is so big, with so many wards, and I had no idea where to go. I ended up at the maternity ward, meekly asking a nurse at reception where I was meant to go. The ward was so big and scary and hospitaley, I was close to tears just being there. It turned out I was meant to go to the birthing suites, and I found my way there reasonably easily.
The birthing suites ward was a bit less terrifying. It was calm and quiet with dimmed lights, and had a little less of a big hospital feel. Although, judging from the signage, there were eight birthing rooms compared to two in Mona Vale where Daisy was born. The chances that I will be the only one there on the day, as I was when I had Daisy, are very slim.
The midwife was lovely, as they tend to be. I vented all my fears to her, all the while trying my best not to burst into tears. I managed to narrow it down to the following issues:
- Will a midwife be with me the WHOLE time I'm there giving birth?
- Do doctors get involved a lot?
- Are the intervention-happy rumours true?
Linda the Midwife put all my worries to rest, explaining to me that I was part of a midwife lead program where I would get to see the same midwife throughout my pregnancy, and if she was available she would be there on on the day also. The midwives of this program are the same as the ones that run the Wyong birthing centre, which feels reassuring. She assured me that once I'm at the hospital the midwife would not leave my side and would have no other assignments at the same time as mine. She even took me around the ward and showed the birthing rooms, told me how they like to keep things as natural as possible and listen to the mother's wishes. She told me how all the midwives are such mother hens and protective of their ladies, and how they would only call for the doctor if it was truly needed. She also told me that the doctor, a lady, was lovely and truly caring. It felt much like Mona Vale once I was there.
All of this, combined with hearing the heart beat and feeling the Minibean kicking around, has made me feel about a million times better about everything.
Gosford Hospital is still a terrifying place if you ask me, and I don't look forward to the long journey from the car park to the ward on the day, but on the whole it doesn't feel impossibly scary any more.
Monday, 28 March 2016
Turning point, I promise
Today I went to the hospital to book in with the midwives. All went well. I vented all my worries and midwife Linda made me feel much better. And also, she got her doppler out and we heard blood rushing through the umbilical cord, pulsing through the placenta, and finally the Minibean's heart beating at 140bpm.
And also, I can now be sure that it's the Minibean I feel ping ponging around in there.
NOW I will turn my back on all my worries and weird feelings about this pregnancy and start bonding with this little creature.
Hello little Minibean, I'm here and I will focus on you now! I promise.
Thursday, 24 March 2016
Definitely, maybe
I can definitely feel something. Something faintly twitching and flicking. Definitely. I think. Maybe.
Tuesday, 22 March 2016
Wishful thinking
Daisy has a temperature for the second night in a row. Poor little one. First illness in a year though, good going!
I keep imagining that maybe, maybe I felt a little movement from the Minibean. Hard to tell at 16 weeks. Now I'm going to feel even more like an idiot if it turns out all is not well...
Saturday, 19 March 2016
Going bonkers, for real
I am truly struggling with this pregnancy. I wish I could feel happy.
It all becomes clear whenever I speak with a friend and they are all excited and happy for me. "This is so GREAT, can't wait to meet the bubba, so happy for you!" they squeal. And I nod and smile and do my best to fake excitement, all the while feeling like an absolute fraud. I actually feel like I'm faking this pregnancy. Because obviously there won't be a baby at the end, why would there be? There never is. And I will feel like such an idiot when I have to go to everyone and say actually, I'm not pregnant. Not anymore. This is why I don't tell people much, I don't announce because I want to save us all from feeling like idiots.
For all I know this pregnancy is already over and I really am just faking.
This is soul draining and quite frankly driving me a bit bonkers. I really want that midwife appointment on Easter Monday to come around quickly, and I can't wait to start feeling the baby move. Imagine that, a bit of communication from the little Minibean to let me know it's alive and well. It is going to be heavenly.
Saturday, 5 March 2016
14 weeks. Come on...
Is this some sort of joke? I am experiencing the whole smaller in the morning, bigger in the afternoon phenomenon. But come on, I'm only 14 weeks! I wasn't this big with Daisy even at 20 weeks!
Friday, 4 March 2016
De ja vu
I have started experiencing a pregnancy symptom that I remember fondly from my pregnancy with Daisy: My hair doesn't get greasy, ever. I can go a full week without washing it, I even forget when I washed it last, and it looks perfectly clean.
Very, very nice.
Friday, 19 February 2016
Even closer to the edge of the woods
It's not only alive. It's cute too.
Only waiting for the nuchal translucency scan and blood test. Once those come through clear, I will breathe again.
Monday, 15 February 2016
Out of the woods?
The other day my GP called to let me know she had spoken with my obstetrician, the man I now simply refer to as "The Quack". She had called him to ask his opinion on stopping the aspirin at 12 weeks, which she herself suggested to me and I am all for.
The Quack replied that we should change over from aspirin to a blood thinner that is injected daily (!) plus some progesterone. Why he felt I needed these treatments nobody knows.
So I took matters into my own hands and went to see a different obstetrician that was recommended to me. This one, Dr. Metawa, came to the conclusion that aspirin would probably be a good idea until week 20 just to be safe, but any other medication would be nonsense (ok, he didn't say "nonsense" but that's how I interpreted what he actually said). I am willing to accept that. I will continue the aspirin for a while longer, but I will certainly not be injecting anything or taking any hormones.
Oh, and by the way, he did a quick ultrasound just to see if there was still life. The Minibean measures 11 weeks and 4 days and the heart beats at around 160bpm. Maybe this means we're out of the woods?
The Quack replied that we should change over from aspirin to a blood thinner that is injected daily (!) plus some progesterone. Why he felt I needed these treatments nobody knows.
So I took matters into my own hands and went to see a different obstetrician that was recommended to me. This one, Dr. Metawa, came to the conclusion that aspirin would probably be a good idea until week 20 just to be safe, but any other medication would be nonsense (ok, he didn't say "nonsense" but that's how I interpreted what he actually said). I am willing to accept that. I will continue the aspirin for a while longer, but I will certainly not be injecting anything or taking any hormones.
Oh, and by the way, he did a quick ultrasound just to see if there was still life. The Minibean measures 11 weeks and 4 days and the heart beats at around 160bpm. Maybe this means we're out of the woods?
Monday, 8 February 2016
Polarities
I'm doing that thing again where one moment I am 100% certain that everything is ok, and the next moment I am eqaually sure that there is no chance EVER that this will be ok.
Sometimes I get both polarities in the same train of thought.
It's exhausting.
Friday, 29 January 2016
Three weeks of crossed fingers
Blood test done and 12 week scan booked for the 19th Feb.
My doctor said she would only call if there were any concerns, so I hope I won't hear from her.
Yesterday I felt so good all day until after lunch that I started to panic a bit and think that all had ended again. But then I felt absolute rubbish all afternoon, so I guess all is well...
This stuff is hard on the nerves.
Sunday, 24 January 2016
Keeping an eye on it
I've decided not to do another scan until the 12 week one around 20th February. The doctor suggested a blood test at 9 weeks just to get an idea of whether everything is progressing ok, so that's what I'll do.
I didn't, as far as I recall, feel this sick even with Daisy. It's relentless. So maybe that means all is well and baby is settling in to stay full term.
Monday, 18 January 2016
So far so good
7w + 2d, 138 heartbeats per minute. Due date 3 September 2016. Tears of worry in the waiting room and tears of relief on the examination table.
So far so good!
Sunday, 10 January 2016
Minibean
Dwayne has, somewhat superstitiously, decided the working title "Minibug" carries to many bad vibes now. He's decided this is the Minibean instead.
Hung over
This time everything is going to be ok. Simply because it has to, and because it better be our turn now!
I feel decidedly more pregnant than the last three times. That hung over feeling that never goes away. I welcome it.
Early scan booked for the 18th Jan. There better be a heart beat. I haven't seen a beating heart past 6 weeks since Daisy, and I have developed a bit of a fear of ultrasounds...
First Response
The 28th December I was going to the doctor with my severely messed up back, and just in case he wanted to do an x-ray or other scan I decided to take a pregnancy test just to be safe.
(By the way, I should get a discount from First Response. I have purchased so damned many three-packs in the last year).
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